Taking Stock

Sunday, January 06, 2019

2018 was a year filled with upheaval, change and stress. As I look back, I marvel, as we all do, at how fast it has flown by. I am amazed at my girls, now two, rather than the one and only child who healed my heart.

I look at how far Liora has come; learning to share her family, her toys and her mommy milky. I see her sister crawling around after her wanting to play with her. At eight months, Imogen is all love and smiles ans silky softness. Unlike Liora, Imogen did not inherit my keratosis pilaris.

Liora started preschool just before her sister was born. She began with two days a week and progressed to three as soon as she turned three. She is now at school full time. To think that she will start reception (primary school) in September, is a step too far.

Our home has been teetering on the verge of chaos all year and my anxiety and self recrimination have been at an all-time high. I have put on a lot of weight and feel Ugly. However, I do waiver between self-loathing, self-pity and a kind of soft sadness about it all with a desire to be kind to the little battered person within. My husband loves me, my kids adore me so I should really work harder at self-care and compassion.

Liora has developed a love of nail polish and makeup (eye shadow). She has also encouraged me to do my routine, after being shown what that was. It is both lovely and a little bit sad to be encouraged by one's three year old. I guess it doesn't matter where the push / inspiration comes from, as long as I do something.

In order to maintain some level of sanity, I though it would be a good idea to get the child her own makeup brushes and eye shadow palette. I now have mixed feelings on the experiment. It is messy, but on the whole, rather harmless.

After more than a year of inactivity on the skincare / makeup front, I feel like I have woken up from a long sleep and I have a lot of makeup and skincare I need to use. So, although I have missed a year of new releases and lovely temptations, I will be "shopping my stash" until further notice. There are one or two new things I may buy when they are released. Nadine Baggott mentioned one in her YouTube video, but other than that, I will be holding back as much as possible.

I am looking forward to 2019 with some understandable trepidation (we are moving house. Liora is starting school.) but with a great deal of excitement over what the future holds. Our girls are growing up and I am enjoying every step of the process.

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